A Confession

This project is not easy. It's not finding fourteen people to celebrate and it's not finding the humble words to do so, though I have struggled with both on nights when the days have felt long. It's not finding the time, either, though every decision comes with its own sacrifice, as the unwashed floors and dishes scream to remind me.

This project has felt, at times, like a failure. I am not finished, of course, so perhaps I say this too soon, but if the point was to prove an Adlerian principle that doing good for others will pull a person out from a damaging tailspin then I'm not so sure that it has.

Hold the phones, I'm not typing from the ledge. It's been a fairly challenging week, that's all. Just like the one before it.

I have this little theory, and it has to do with that bit about sacrifice I mentioned. Perhaps honouring the people I love who are far from me has come at the cost of the people nearest by. Perhaps I've been spreading myself a little too thin, not saving enough for the ones who need my love the most, myself included. So, on that note, I'm going to spend the afternoon away from the screen and bask in my family for a while. The sun is sure to split through these clouds eventually.